And the Light Reveals All it Touches
by caitlins1617
Summary: Daniel chooses Ascension, but he quickly finds out that not all is as it seems. He goes on a journey to find out just why Oma helped him Ascend and has to make some difficult choices along the way. Ascended beings are not the lofty, distant people Daniel once thought them to be, and it turns out that even Enlightenment doesn't solve everything. Go figure.
1. If at First You Know the Light is Fire

Disclaimer: Don't own any of it, but happy to write about it!

Author's Note: I always felt like there was a lot that we didn't know about Daniel's time when he was Ascended, so I thought I'd try to fill in some of the gaps. Hope you like it!

And the Light Reveals All it Touches

Chapter 1: If at First You Know the Light is Fire...

The first thing his senses registered when he stepped through the Gate, oddly enough, was the sunshine. It felt bright and a bit closer than Earth's sun, the heat more immediate. But then, after what was probably only a few fractions of a second, his other senses adjusted from their post-Gate travel haze, his pupils narrowing to the light and his ears hearing past the momentary roar of vertigo. An outside observer probably would not have noticed any hesitation at all, he had become so adept at the bringing himself to the awareness he needed each time he travelled to a new planet. He had done it so many times, it almost seemed commonplace – almost but not quite. He didn't know if it ever would truly become normal to traverse across galaxies nearly instantaneously. The split second of disorientation, so short most times he barely recognized it, seemed an infinitesimally small price to pay for the wonders lying on the other side of the wormhole.

But this time, after the sunshine broke through the haze, and as the heat burned lightly on his cheeks, the moment of haziness passed, and the realization that there no wonders to be found on this planet crashed almost violently into him. There were fires burning and smoke billowing into the air in every direction. People were running, desperate to find a safe haven when there was none. Putrid smells wafted over to him, bringing with them the smoke from the fires, blood from the dying, and the sweat from those unfortunate enough to still be alive. Gliders roared overhead, firing seemingly randomly, and fleetingly he wondered if the pilots felt anything more for their targets than an adolescent would for the characters in a video game.

He looked around, wondering where his team was. Surely, Jack could not be far, yelling out orders and trying to get people to safety. And Sam would be contacting the SGC, calling for reinforcements if they hadn't already, giving them all the information they had on what was happening. Teal'c would be watching them, firing at gliders if they soared close enough, and doing his best to protect them from an enemy that was too far and to vast to really be in danger of his sole staff weapon. But they weren't here. As Daniel looked around, he realized he was alone with the screaming, dying, nameless people surrounding him in every direction.

He didn't know why they weren't here. He gasped suddenly, realizing he didn't know why _he_ was here. What had he been doing, before he stepped through the Gate and into this hell? And then it hit him – the conversation with Jack in an empty Gate room, the view of the infirmary obstructed by the bandages covering his face, the naquahdriah reactor he sacrificed his life to diffuse. He was dead. But he wasn't, because he was here, watching this destruction.

"Oma!" He screamed, desperate now to understand why Ascension looked so much like death and devastation. "Oma, what the hell is this? Where are you?"

He waited for the screams to disappear, the whine of Goa'uld jets to fade, but it didn't happen. Oma either wasn't listening or didn't care to respond. Either that, or this was something else altogether. He _had_ chosen Ascension, right? Maybe the other Ancients decided not to let Oma help him, maybe this was his punishment for trying to wiggle into a ticket to the afterlife.

Daniel walked down the steps of the Gate, towards the closest group of villagers. They did not look up, did not respond to this new stranger's presence. _But then,_ Daniel thought, _they have much bigger problems to deal with right now than me_. Instead, the group of five or so continued to tend to the wounded and comfort a small child clinging to the skirt of a young woman. A man, face covered in dirt and blood, looked frantically around for a place to go. Daniel wondered if they were a family, or just survivors who found each other in the madness.

"Neatra, come, we must hide!" The man called to the young woman.

"Where, Talik? The gods will find us, wherever we go. And Cyn will not be able to keep up with us for much longer," she added desperately, gesturing to the boy grasping at her skirt, "and that does not account for Remuth and Jorel; they are hurt, Talik. There is no where to go." Neatra, the woman, reached down to the two injured men - adolescents really - and laid a hand on one of their shoulders. One had a freely bleeding wound on his thigh while the other was grasping at his side, blood oozing from between his fingers.

Daniel hesitated before walking towards the man - _Talik_ , Daniel added - still looking for somewhere safe. Daniel had to do something, maybe he could evacuate people through the Gate. He paused, mentally recalling the Gate address for the Land of Light before continuing his approach. "Hello?" He asked, trying to raise his voice over the explosions without appearing threatening. "I can help you. We can go through the Stargate, the Chappa'i, to another planet."

Nothing. The man continued to look around, then right through him. Grabbing at the others with him, Talik seemed to come to a decision on a course of action and began to pull them towards a patch of trees behind the Gate. The child, still clinging to the woman, passed right through Daniel's leg.

"Oma!" Daniel's stomach dropped and twisted. _What the hell is this?_ He thought, for the umpteenth time after stepping through the Gate.

Daniel walked forward into what remained of the village. There was less screaming now, the sounds of the continued barrage of bombs from the Goa'uld fighters quickly becoming deafening in the silence. And then they too faded. Almost instantaneously it was quiet, save for the popping of wood in some of the still-burning fires. Daniel found himself in the middle of the – ruins – and stopped short. There was nothing, no one except those lying motionless around the village. How had it happened so quickly? It seemed like only moments ago that it was chaos, that there was still life. Desperate and dying life, but life nonetheless.

Jackson crashed to the ground, grasping out at some overturned wheelbarrow for some semblance of stability. But none came, his hand passing through the wheel, and he tumbled down gasping as he went. Something had gone terribly wrong. He was supposed to be flying high among the angles right now…or something like that. He looked towards the patch of trees that Talik and Neatra had sought refuge in. When he realized the patch was gone, scorched from the earth, he bent over and retched. Why was he here? And worse still, who were these people? Did he really just watch a whole people be destroyed?

"Yes."

Daniel looked up from his spot by the wheelbarrow and squinted disbelievingly into the sun. "Oma? Where have you been? Wha-" And then he understood her response. Yes. He _had_ just witnessed the death of a people. It was all real. Terrifyingly, uncomprehendingly real. He jumped to his feet in anger. "You just let this happen? Why didn't you do something?"

Oma, dressed in a blue flowing dress, and encased in the sunlight shining from behind her, smiled slightly and looked at him. "Because I cannot. You know that Daniel. And neither can you."

"Why?" The pieces began to come together, and a cold shudder of dread ran through to his bones. "You brought me here to see this. Just so I _couldn't_ do anything? God, _why_? I thought the Ascended were above all this, why rub my face in what I can't do anything about?"

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For her part, Oma felt she was quite patient through the rant. Did he not think she had heard it all before? _Felt_ it before? When he stopped, his chest heaving with emotion, she held out her hand and guided him to some mostly intact steps. She sat, and Daniel, surprisingly, sat with her.

"If I had not shown this, you would have sought it out yourself, Daniel. Eventually." Then, Oma sighed. The pretense of Ascended inner-peace, hidden behind vague sayings and anecdotes seemed to disintegrate from around her in the sunlight. The fires sweltering nearby burned away at her fragile strength to keep her burden composed and sequestered deep inside her. This part was hardest for her, too. "Your journey is just beginning, Daniel. And so is theirs." Oma was sure Daniel knew who the "they" were. "Their path is different, but a path just the same."

Daniel turned to her. "Their _path_? These villagers? The children? Their _path?_ Are you insane? We could help them!"

"We would only be hurting them, Daniel. Soon, you will see. Ascension is not the only way towards enlightenment. In fact, it is probably the most difficult way." Oma had said those words so many times she almost believed them herself, but she wasn't about to let Daniel in on that part, not yet. This was the price they paid for being what they were. The power to do anything, but the ability to do nothing. Not nothing, her fellow Ascended beings would protest. But she knew it felt like nothing all the same.

"So, what, we're just supposed to let people die? Let the Goa'uld destroy whole worlds?" Daniel stood, needing a way to expel even just a portion of his indignance. "What have I been doing, then, all this time? Do the Ascended condemn that, too?"

Oma knew he was talking about SG-1. Even on a different plane of existence, many Ascended knew about SG-1. Some were happy that the Goa'uld might finally see their demise. Others thought they were foolish and arrogant to think they could really do anything about them. Most had been out of touch so long they couldn't bring themselves to care. But none were angry with them, not like that. "No," she finally said, "No, they do not condemn you. You exist on their plane. When you helped people, it was part of their path – _your_ path– but now, your paths have diverged."

"Where will they go? The…people here." Daniel felt numb, but felt too much all at the same time. He thought he heard someone moan in the distance, but he wasn't sure. Did anyone survive the attack?

Oma shrugged in a very un-Ascended like fashion. "Onwards."

"That's it?" Daniel's brow furrowed in disbelief, obviously unsatisfied.

Another shrug. "That's all I know. Their path – "

"Is different, yeah I got that." Daniel looked around, at the smoke, the decimated homes and shops, the bodies lying so unceremoniously all around. He sat back down, his energy suddenly spent.

"Why did you save me?"

The question was not what she was expecting, at least not yet. But she understood it. "I didn't," she replied simply. "I changed your path."

Daniel huffed, frustrated. "Okay, why did you change my path, then? Why me, and not these people?" He gestured vaguely outwards.

"That is a question for another time."

"What? Are you serious?"

Oma stood. "Come. There is much to do." She smiled slightly as the world faded to white around them. _Yes_ , she thought, _his journey is just beginning_.

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AN: I have the next two chapters just about ready, so please let me know what you think! R and R and all that good jazz… :)


	2. Pancakes, But Hold the Whipped Cream

A/N: Thank you to those who pointed out that this chapter did not format correctly. Hopefully this fixed it. Thank you for reading!

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Chapter 2: Pancakes, But Hold the Whipped Cream

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Daniel awoke in an unfamiliar room. It was small, but very bright. He was in a simple bed underneath a colorful if faded quilt, lying beneath a large open window. White curtains fluttered softly above him in the breeze. The room was sparingly furnished; a simple brown desk on the wall next to the head of the bed and beyond that a wooden door. There was a chair on the opposite wall and a bookshelf filled with dusty books nestled in the far corner of the room. It was quiet, but Daniel felt anything but peace. He could still hear the cries of the dying on that nameless planet.

Daniel sat up slowly. For supposedly being Ascended, his body felt like it had been through the wringer. He wondered if it was worth yelling for Oma this time. He knew she was here, somewhere. She'd show when she was ready. Not that he wasn't still royally pissed with what she pulled taking him to that planet, but he couldn't summon her any more than he could go back home.

The door opened, but it wasn't Oma who walked through, it was another woman. She was young, with blond hair pulled into a carefully braided updo. "I am Tawhida." Her voice was almost soothing; soft and calm as it was. She sat gracefully in the chair by the bookcase and folded her hands neatly in her lap. "I am here to answer your questions. But remember, Daniel Jackson, a candle cannot burn without fire."

Daniel moved to the edge of the bed, nodding. "And a thousand candles can be lighted with a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened." He could play this game.

Tawhida nodded sagely, taking his point. "You are wise, Daniel Jackson."

"Tawhida, where are we?"

She cocked her head to the side slightly, as if just now taking in her surroundings. "What does it matter where we are?"

Daniel sighed. That wasn't the right question, apparently. "Okay, why I am I here?"

"That is only for you decide, Daniel Jackson. Only you know your own path."

This was going to be harder than Daniel thought. "Really? I didn't choose to watch those people die. I didn't decide to come here. Certainly seems like someone else is controlling my 'path' right now."

Tawhida grimaced. Daniel wondered if she might provide any straightforward answers at all. "Yes, Oma prefers to ensure her charges receive some…training…before fully joining the Ascended."

Daniel sat back, shocked both at the admission, and at the fact that the answer hadn't been given in some riddle or proverb. "So that's what this is? Training? Ascended boot camp?" Daniel paused. Ascended boot camp? He'd been spending too much time around Jack. _Not that that was going to much of an issue anymore_ , he cringed at the thought.

Tawhida smiled. "Something to that effect. You are young, and headstrong. I fear it will take some time for you to understand."

"And you? How long did it take for you to 'understand'?"

She smiled, almost forlornly. "Much too long for Oma's liking."

"So, you're one of Oma's…charges, too? She 'changed' your path?" Daniel asked carefully, hoping he could keep the riddles out of the conversation as long as possible.

"She...helped me to Ascend as she did with you. That is why she sent me to speak with you."

"What happened? Why did she help you?"

Tawhida stood, and the room faded around them. Suddenly, they were in a large tent lined with cots. Most of the cots were filled with people – some sleeping, others awake and obviously in pain, and some still just simply lying there. Men and women flitted around, carrying supplies and pushing carts.

Daniel looked around, taking it in. "We're in a hospital."

"Yes," Tawhida nodded and walked forward, towards one of the cots. "This was my homeworld. There was a war between the nations. Many people died."

When they came upon the cot, Daniel saw a young boy sleeping. _Or unconscious_ , Daniel thought. There was a woman bent over the bed, holding desperately onto the boy's hand. She looked up for a moment, and Daniel realized it was Tawhida. Slightly younger, face covered in tear-streaked dirt, but unmistakably the woman standing next to him. Quietly, he asked, "who was he?" Although he had a sickening feeling he already knew the answer.

"My son. Caught in an explosion. The _Par'a'ins_ were trying to create a diversion before one of their biggest attacks. Needless to say, it worked." Despair twisted her voice, and Daniel saw the humanity overcome her. She was like him, not airy and distant as Oma seemed to be. Almost, anyway.

"I'm so sorry. Did he…?" He didn't know how to finish the question. He felt like he probably shouldn't have asked it in the first place.

"He died in the night. He never woke up." Tears choked her voice, her face flush. "I joined my people, the _E'naley_ , in their fight against the _Par'a'ins_. I was mortally wounded in a battle two months after I lost...him. And then Oma showed up."

"Why?"

The question brought her out of her reverie, and she turned to him with her eyes still bright with unshed tears. "Why?"

Daniel grimaced, knowing he probably was coming off too harsh. "Look, I'm sorry about what you went through, I really am, but why? Why did Oma choose you? Why did she choose me? Why does she do this, when we all apparently have our own 'paths' anyway? What's the point?"

The field hospital disappeared around them and suddenly they were in a diner. Tawhida sat across Daniel in one of the red shiny booths while people ate breakfast and drank coffee in other ones around the restaurant. Someone came in the door and a bell chimed.

Daniel's eyes widened in realization. "I know this place."

"Yes, you do." Tawhida left it at that, then shifted in her seat. "Daniel Jackson, my son did not ascend. When Oma chose me, she took me on a different path than my son."

"And do you...wish she hadn't? Wouldn't you rather be with your son?" Suddenly Daniel thought of all the people who probably wouldn't ascend either. Shar'e, Jack, Sam, his parents? For the first time, Daniel truly felt like he had made a mistake choosing Ascension, his stomach clenching at the thought.

Tawhida truly looked as though she was thinking over what she wanted to say. "I am satisfied with my journey," she announced softly, as though she still didn't quite believe it herself but was trying to. "Yes, I miss my child, my family, but I had worked towards enlightenment during my time on my homeworld. When Oma came and offered it to me, she said I had become the closest to Ascension anyone had in generations from my world." Tawhida's eyes lit up with pride at the statement, but suddenly they clouded over. "But the battle that mortally wounded me cut my journey short. It would have changed my path from Ascension - I had not yet gotten close enough, I had not truly found enlightenment."

Daniel mulled over her words. "So, Oma didn't so much change your path as prevent it from being changed."

"Yes...and no. Do you believe in fate, Daniel Jackson?"

"I don't know," he replied slowly, "should I?"

Tawhida opened her mouth to reply, but before she could, a woman appeared at the table.

"Anything I can get for you two?" Daniel looked up to see Oma. This time, she was dressed in a blue button down uniform with a white apron tied around her waist. She held a notebook in one hand while she pulled a pencil from behind her ear with the other. "Coffee? Pancakes?"

Tawhida didn't miss a beat. "Both please, thank you, Oma. And extra syrup on the side."

"And you?" Oma turned to look at Daniel.

"What? I…"

"He'll have the same. Hold the whipped cream. Right, Daniel?" Tawhida looked over.

Eyebrows knitted in confusion, Daniel nodded. "Um, yeah, I guess. But what - " He couldn't finish his question, however, as Oma had already turned on her heels and headed for the kitchen. He didn't know what to make of these two. One minute, it felt like Tawhida and he were simply talking, and then he felt like he'd been benched at the kickball game on some Ascended playground.

"Tawhida, what was that?" There was only so much of this confusion Daniel could take. Before Oma had shown up, he felt like he was actually getting somewhere with Tawhida.

She shook her head. "I answered too much. I'm sorry."

"Answered too much? No, no, I felt like I was just getting things cleared up a little."

Sighing, Tawhida picked up a salt shaker and twirled it in her hand. "Some answers you must come by yourself, Daniel Jackson."

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A/N: Chapter 3 is almost ready! R and R and all that jazz... :)


	3. The Library of Light

Chapter 3: The Library of Light

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Daniel and Tawhida finished their pancakes in silence. While they were eating, thoughts whirled through Daniel's mind. It just didn't add up yet; Oma hated that more people couldn't ascend, didn't she? But it's the 'more difficult path'? What was the other one? He sighed, frustrated with everything he didn't know.

"Tawhida, this isn't enough."

She looked up, nonplussed. "Do you want more pancakes?"

"No, and I think you know exactly what I mean. How am I supposed to come by these answers by myself if you and Oma are working so hard to keep everything from me?"

Nodding, Tawhida pushed her plate forwards. "Very well, let's go."

"Where?" Daniel felt his heart rate increase with trepidation, thinking of Tawhida's homeworld and the planet the Goa'uld destroyed.

Tawhida smiled, and Daniel wondered if she knew exactly what he was thinking. "The library."

With that, the world once again faded to white around him.

Daniel wasn't sure what he was expecting from an Ascended library, but this certainly wasn't it. It seemed neverending. _It might be_ , Daniel realized. Shelves climbed upwards dozens of feet, defying gravity. The domed ceiling was even higher than that, beautifully intricate silver arches cris-crossing over the giant room. Light spilled in from endless skylights and threw an almost unnatural brilliant quality to the rows and rows of books. It was mesmerizing.

"Where are we?" Daniel's voice was filled with awe. The hall almost seemed...sacred.

Tawhida smiled knowingly. "The library. It holds all the knowledge of all Ascended beings."

"All? As in everything?" The awe Daniel felt earlier erupted and threatened to overwhelm him with the implications. "How do you know where to begin? This is incredible…"

Tawhida walked forwards and Daniel followed, numbly, his mind trying to process the significance of this latest revelation. They stopped in front of a dias in a large square. Around the dias were chairs, benches, and plush pillows. For the first time, Daniel saw people milling about. Some sat, holding books while others walked among the shelves. Then he realized - "They're not...reading."

"No, not in the sense you are used to at least. Here." Tawhida held out a small, circular grey stone. "This will help you sort through the knowledge. At least until you learn how to do it yourself."

"Myself?"Daniel took the stone gently in his hands.

Tawhida nodded. "We find that the stone helps to focus the thoughts and wishes of the newly-Ascended, until one can focus for themselves." She smiled slightly at that, as though sharing an inside joke with herself. "Go ahead, think of what you want to know."

Daniel thought hard about the question; there was so much he wanted to know. He could probably spend a lifetime in here. At that thought, Daniel stopped short - he had forever to spend here. That idea was more than he could comprehend.

"Okay...Ascension. I want to know about Ascension."

The stone flashed purple, and a voice rose out of its surface. "Would you like to read a general overview? The History of Ascension? Autobiographies of Ascended Beings? The Scientific Explanation for Ascending to Higher Planes?"

Again, Daniel was overwhelmed with information. Maybe this was why Oma and Tawhida had been so careful to control what they told him; there was so much to know, to learn. _To understand_ , Daniel thought with a smirk, as he recalled the earlier conversation with Tawhida. "Is there no 'So You Ascended, Now What?' kind of book?" Daniel joked, there was just so much. He smiled, _Jack would be proud_.

He hadn't expected a reaction, but suddenly everything faded to white and they reappeared in front of a bookshelf. He looked around. Daniel couldn't see the center square they had just been in, there were only bookshelves for as far as he could see. On the bookshelf in front of him, one seemed slightly pulled out. He reached for it tentatively. Pulling it down, he read the cover - "Life After Ascension". Eyebrows raising at the title, Daniel contemplate it. _Maybe the Ascended have a sense of humor after all_.

Then, the stone lit up again. "Would you like to see it, feel it, or know it?" The lilting, but mechanical voice asked.

"What?"

Tawhida gestured to the stone. "That is how we learn. We find it is much more efficient. Go ahead, pick one."

"Okay…" Daniel turned over the stone in his hand. "Know it, I guess. Is there -" He couldn't finish the sentence, a barrage of images and pages flitting through his consciousness. Suddenly, he knew how Oma and Tawhida moved through space so easily, fading in and out of different places. If he focused his thinking correctly, he felt he could likely do the same. He knew the name of this library, the Library of Light. He knew people really could spend forever here, becoming Ascended Historians, Orators, and Scientists. _Ascended have jobs?_ He scanned through all the Ascended laws - _laws, they had an actual body of law_ \- about interference with different planes of existence. He understood them enough to realize he still didn't agree with them, and he filed that away for something more to research later. He saw something about a communication system for Ascended beings. It was little more than thinking about someone and sending a thought their way, but there was reference to a complex code like a shorthand.

And then, Daniel came to the portion on Ascended history. It was brief, especially considering the thousands of years that these beings have been Ascended, but it was mind-boggling. There had been deep and complex conflicts, even wars. There were factions of Ascended, and beings that were something else altogether. Other planes, places that weren't even planes, probably weren't even places, but Daniel simply couldn't comprehend it all. The Ascended rarely interacted with these other...groups...and knew little more about them other than the fact that they were there.

It was incredible. It was breathtaking. It was one book.

When he opened his eyes, Tawhida was smiling. She hadn't read the book, her first had been about whether it was possible to contact those who had died but did not Ascend, but she understood what Daniel was feeling right now. "I am going to the Center Hall. I trust you know where that is, and how to find me when you are ready."

Daniel was astonished to know that yes, in fact, he did. He nodded, offering a small smile in return before she disappeared in the familiar white light. Barely a moment had passed before he looked down at the stone still in his hand, already thinking of what he wanted to know next. "Do you know if my friends are okay? Jack, Sam, Teal'c, Janet, Jacob, Bra'tac, everyone? Can you tell me something like that?"

When the library faded to white, the implications made Daniel feel both comfort and trepidation. It didn't last for long, however, and when everything once again appeared around him, he wasn't looking at a towering bookshelf, but a door. Turning around, he saw the library behind him, or at least a part of it. This section seemed older, or at least like it had received less attention over time. _Which is odd_ , Daniel thought, _considering time doesn't seem to be much of a factor here._

"Before entering, it is required to listen to all warnings and instructions." The stone cautioned.

Daniel nodded, lips pursed in determination. "Okay, I can do that."

"One. Do not attempt to talk to, interfere, or contact anyone not Ascended in any way. Two. You may not affect the environment, plane, or place of existence in any way. Three. It is highly recommended to not enter this door. Use and overuse could lead to an over-attachment to the Living Plane. Four. This door only goes to the Living Plane. While there you will be invisible to all who inhabit the Living Plane. Five. All who enter the Living Plane will be monitored by members of the Ascended Integrity Council. Do you agree to the conditions?"

Soaking in yet another barrage of information, Daniel steeled himself. He _would_ check on his friends. He had to know they were okay. _And what if they aren't?_ A pesky voice asked Daniel. _What can you do about it?_ Shaking his head at the thought, he reached for the door knob and answered the voice. "Yes, I agree." Feeling the cool knob under his fingers, he twisted and pulled it open, telling himself he would be ready for whatever was waiting for him on the other side. He believed it, almost. Taking one last steadying breath, he stepped through.

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A/N: Still trying to figure out what exactly Daniel should see on the other side, but I have a plan. Thanks for reading! Y'all are awesome. Please review, let me know what you all think! I'll have the next chapter up in a couple days!


	4. Drowning

A/N: Sorry for the delay, had a bit of writer's block with this chapter, but I think I've got it figured out! Thank you all for reviewing, it always makes my day!

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Chapter 4: Drowning

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Daniel stepped out from the door in the Library into the middle of an all too familiar hallway, and his chest squeezed desperately. The rows of stout pillars on either side of him, foreboding light emanating from the flame of torches flickering off garish gold metal walls , there was no mistaking where he was. A Goa'uld Mothership. If he was here, that must mean... _Oh god, Jack, Sam, Teal'c. Where are they?_

He walked down the hallway, hoping against hope that his team weren't prisoners of some System Lord, but knowing there was likely no other explanation. He turned, following some sort of intuition, and walked into a room bathed in a green glow. _The shield generator room_ , he realized. He had studied the layouts of Goa'uld vessels enough to understand where he was. Walking around the central pire, the source of the green light, he saw the shoulder of a green flight suit. Eyebrows crinkling in confusion, he continued around the room until he saw Dr. Pat Friesen, a scientist from the SGC. He was lost in thought, scribbling notes quickly on a clipboard while taking random glances back at the pire. Daniel let out a relieved huff; surely if Dr. Friesen was here unguarded then everything was fine.

Suddenly Friesen looked in Daniel's direction, and he wondered if the scientist had heard him. _He couldn't, surely that's not possible._ Pat cocked his head, listening, "Hello?" he asked into the room. Daniel froze. _Okay...maybe he_ can _hear me?_ But then Dr. Friesen walked forwards, right through Daniel, and he quickly dismissed the fear. Turning around he followed Pat to the doorway and they turned the corner. "Colonel O'Neill?" Friesen asked.

And then he turned...right into the path of three very angry-looking Jaffa. _Shit_ , Daniel fought the urge to grab Pat by the collar and drag him back into the room. _Where is Jack? Dammit, move, Pat!_

Daniel willed his thoughts into Friesen's head, but he seemed frozen to the floor as the Jaffa stared down the scared human. Daniel didn't recognize the symbol on their foreheads, but their dress indicated they were from some derivative of an East Asian culture. _Not that that is going to help anyone right now,_ Daniel thought ruefully, once again mentally urging the scientist to run, hide, do _something_ , but he wasn't trained for situations like this. _So then why on earth is he here?_

"Who are you, who do you serve?" The Jaffa in the center of the group pulled his sword, and Daniel had no doubt he could kill Friesen with it in an instant.

The doctor's eyes widened in fear. "I-I...my…please don't-"

"Silence!" The Jaffa stood, his friends flanking him switching to a position of attention. "Identify yourself!" He rushed forwards, grabbing at Friesen's neck and pushing him up against the side of the ship. "Who do you serve?"

"The-the President! The Air Force! I don't know - I.."

The Jaffa picked up his captive with the hand around his neck and banged his head against the wall. The scientist squeezed his eyes shut then blinked slowly, his mouth puckered in pain, obviously dazed from the impact. "Are there others with you?" When Friesen didn't immediately respond, the Jaffa took the sword he was holding and handed it off to one of the other Jaffa, trading it for his staff weapon. He choked up on the staff to the head before ramming hard into his stomach. " _Are there others with you?_ "

Daniel could feel the fear emanating off Pat, and in that moment he wished for nothing more than that he could help him. "Stop! Let him go!" Daniel yelled, running up to the soldiers. He went to grab for a staff weapon but his hands went through them as if there was nothing there.

"Yes-yes there are. They'll come for me!" Daniel, breathing hard from adrenaline and fear for Friesen, felt a flicker of pride at his newfound resilience, but he knew it wouldn't be enough.

Daniel saw something like hope flash through the lead Jaffa's eyes and it sickened him, fearing where this was headed. "How did you arrive here?" The hand squeezed tighter around Pat's neck.

Friesen shook his head, and Daniel's previous feelings of pride resurged. Maybe he could hold on long enough until Jack found them. He had to be here, the scientist had thought the Jaffa were him.

The Jaffa on the right stepped forward, shoulders tense. Daniel could tell he was younger and still a little green around the ears. "Master Kelna'c, we must hurry before we are discovered."

The ring leader, Kelna'c, nodded. Gripping Pat's collar, he dragged him back into the shield generator room, pushing him against the wall on the inside. He handed his weapon to the younger Jaffa and looked over to the other soldier. "Hold him, and cover his mouth." After he had complied, Kelna'c shifted, pulling a small dagger out from its sheath at his hip. Without hesitation, he reached down and stabbed it into Pat's thigh. He screamed into the Jaffa's hand, but Daniel knew it wasn't loud enough to alert anyone on this ship unless they were very close. Looking at Friesen, he growled, "I will take my time with you if it is necessary."

 _No, no, no, Pat, hold on. Just hold on until Jack comes._ Daniel willed his thoughts to the man, now obviously in pain and terrified. He was sweating and Daniel thought he could see tears beginning to well up in his eyes. "Don't say anything, you can do this Pat." Daniel thought that maybe the civilian's eyes flitted over to him, but he turned back to Kelna'c as quickly as he had left. The leader nodded to his lackey, who switched his hands from his mouth and arm to Friesen's throat.

"I grow tired of your insolence. Speak, human, or I will kill you!" He gave Pat only a couple moments before nodding gruffly again to his Jaffa, who switched his hold on Pat to the one he had previously. Kelna'c took the knife and stabbed higher on Pat's thigh, this time taking his time to twist it in and maximize the damage and pain. He leaned over to his ear with a controlled rage. "We have been on this ship for days. Speak now, tell us from where you came. This is your last chance, or I will go find it myself and kill everyone in my path. Speak, and I might spare you."

The hand once again removed from his mouth, the scientist's chest heaved with exertion and his eyes were glassy and unfocused. Daniel wasn't even sure if he was lucid enough to answer.

"A Tel'tak. We..have...a-a Tel'tak. But...it-it's not empty! They'll kill...you!" Daniel smiled softly at Pat's resilience, even as tears rolled down the Ascended man's cheeks. He knew what would likely happen next, and he didn't want to watch, but he felt he had to. _Someone should,_ Daniel thought, _even if he doesn't know I'm here_.

Kelna'c smiled haughtily, the Jaffa removing their hold from Pat. He grasped for the wall, trying to stay upright. At the same time, Kelna'c held his hand out for his staff weapon. Receiving it, he spun it around onto Friesen.

"No!" Daniel yelled, just as he heard Friesen whisper a faint "Please". But it wasn't enough. Kelna'c fired without warning. Pat fell to the ground, dead instantly, hand still close to the clipboard he had miraculously been holding this whole time. Daniel didn't notice as the Jaffa left the room, moving purposefully but stealthily out and then down the hall. He just lowered himself unsteadily to the floor, his back to the shield generator, and cried for his friend who thought he died alone. _He might as well have_ , _all I did was sit and watch._

It must have only been a few minutes later when Jack came in the room and looked down to see the now dead scientist laying there. Daniel looked up through teary eyes, both relieved to see that Jack was okay and angry at his friend for not coming sooner. _Just a little bit sooner, dammit._

Jack tensed at the sight of Friesen sprawled on the floor leaned over and felt for a pulse. Standing back up he keyed his radio. "Carter, I want you and Davis back on the Tel'tak with Jacob."

" _What's going on, sir?"_ Sam's voice floated through the radio. _So Sam's here_ , Daniel thought, _and Jacob and...Davis? They must have control of the Ha'tak._ Daniel groaned. They had probably thought they were alone on the ship, there was no other way a civilian scientist would be allowed on, let alone by himself.

"Friesen's dead."

As Jack brought his P-90 up slightly. Daniel's stomach twisted even further. _They obviously aren't as in-control as they thought._ "What have you gotten into this time, Jack?"

"Jacob, come in." Jack leaned his back against the wall, the same wall on which Friesen had just been tortured. Nothing came through the radio, and the silence was deafening. "Jacob, do you read?" Jack asked again in a harsh whisper. "Jacob, come in. Jacob."

The feeling of dread threatened to suffocate Daniel. He stood up from the generator and walked over to Jack. Footsteps echoed softly from down the hall and looked up to see Sam and Davis. "Hey guys, long time no see. Nice to know you're as good at getting into trouble without me as you were with me." Not expecting a response, he was still a little disheartened not to get one. When the team went to move down the hallway, on high alert this time, Daniel followed behind, hands stuffed in pockets he just now realized were there.

It only took a few minutes before Davis, Jack, Sam, and Daniel had made it to the throne room of the mothership. There had been no other run-ins with Jaffa, so Daniel's hopes were cautiously rising that the three from earlier were the only ones.

"Dad!" Daniel watched as Sam ran over to her father, who was lying face down on the ground. Another wave of alarm was staved off as Jacob groaned and sat up with his daughter's help.

The relief was short-lived, however, as Davis ran over to the controls. "Colonel, we've got another problem."

Jacob waved Sam over with assurances that he would be alright, and Daniel suddenly realized what the problem. Through the large window, Earth was rushing up at them, the blue and green orb growing far too large far to fast to be safe.

"We're decelerating out of orbit and they've disabled the drive controls. Sir, we've got no way of altering course. We're going to crash."

Daniel heard Jack talking to Teal'c over the radio, and he gathered that he was on board a Goa'uld cargo ship nearby. _Has the SGC made a habit of acquiring Goa'uld ships since I ascended or something_? Daniel wondered off-handedly. He walked around to the window and looked out at the ocean that now took up most of the view. In the background, he heard the group discussing various plans of escape and realizing that they had none. Part of him wished he was in the middle of it, debating with them, feeling the adrenaline rush that came with the heightened danger. When he had gone on his first few missions, the rush he got with the dangerous parts of his job made Daniel feel almost guilty. Sure, he never wished ill-will on anyone, and especially his team, but there was no denying that he felt...alive when he was running for his life. He had come to accept the new part of him over time after a few good not-quite-sober heart to hearts with Jack, who assured him he would be worried if he didn't feel that way.

But now, he felt nothing. He felt fear for his team, sure, but not for himself. He wasn't _in_ it with them. Daniel laughed at the insanity of the situation. They were, at this very moment, crashing into the earth in a Goa'uld mothership and Daniel felt numb. Disconnected. He turned around and watched as SG-1, Jacob, and Davis braced themselves for impact. When the ship rocked with the impact into the atmosphere, fire engulfing the vessel, Daniel closed his eyes against brimming tears. He searched his mind, wondering for the first time how he was actually supposed to leave the "Living Plane". Looking down he saw the stone from the library appear in his hand.

He glared at the device. It seemed to encapsulate everything he had become, everything he wasn't anymore. And so, he felt himself despising the inanimate rock. "I thought you were for the library."

"I am always available to help and advise."

Daniel wanted help off this ship. He wanted to go back and to never feel like this again. To never feel so helpless and disconnected and...dead. He felt dead. The irony squeezed the air out of his lungs, in an odd imitation of a laugh.

And then he realized why the Ascended were so aloof, at least in part. Maybe this was even how their strict no-interaction policies had originated. With this aversion to the Living. To the people who didn't realize what they had, couldn't understand that all the knowledge in the universe still seemed incomparable to being healthy and _alive_. Surrounded by friends and loved ones.

Daniel looked up at the people he had once called his family. Jacob and Davis pressed up against the console, Sam and Jack huddled against the throne - _And certainly a bit more against each_ other _than they might actually need to be, not that anyone else would be able to tell_ , Daniel thought with a smirk. He felt the ship crash into the water and decelerate all the way to the ocean floor. They still had some speed when they hit the bottom, but the thud that rocked through the ship was much less than it otherwise could have been. The Ha'tak's shields and dampeners had likely saved their lives.

Daniel looked down and brushed his thumb over the cool stone. _I don't want to be like the rest of the Ascended. They could help the Living so much, but they don't. What if it really just is because they're afraid? They tell themselves that they're better off without them anyway to make it easier, but what if they're not? What if people like Oma saw through the fear, and tried to help some of us anyway?_ But if that was the case, it still didn't really explain why Oma picked the people she did to help Ascend. There had to be more to it. In any case, Daniel made up his mind to not fall into the same trap. He _would_ see this through and maintain some connection with the Living Plane, with his friends, even if it was painful for him.

Looking down at the stone still in his hands, he remembered a question it had asked him when he read his first book; _see it, feel it, or know it_. Could that work here? Daniel shrugged - it was worth a shot.

"Stone? I want to feel it. The Living Plane. Can I do that? Can I observe _and_ feel?"

A green glow from the rock was his first response. "It is possible, although rarely used and not recommended."

Daniel rolled his eyes; of course it wasn't. He thought it was telling that you even had to ask for it. "Do it anyways, please."

And then the stone flashed pink, glittering in his palm. Daniel had a moment to wonder what the colors meant before he looked around and realized everything had changed.

OoOoOoO

A/N: Special thanks to stargate-sg1-solutions for the transcript of Stargate SG1 Episode "Descent". Thank you all for reading and reviewing!


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